


You May Say I'm a Dreamer

by orphan_account



Series: McLennon One Shots [2]
Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, M/M, McLennon, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24597049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: John misses Paul after leaving the band.
Relationships: John Lennon & Paul McCartney, John Lennon & Yoko Ono, John Lennon/Paul McCartney, John Lennon/Yoko Ono
Series: McLennon One Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778032
Kudos: 27





	You May Say I'm a Dreamer

**Author's Note:**

> CW: crying, a little bad language
> 
> (I don't know if this really requires a warning but I wanted to be safe.)

John lay on his back in a cocoon of warmth made by Yoko's body heat and the covers on their bed. Although he was physically warm he felt cold and empty inside. 

He hadn't seen or contacted Paul, or any of the band for that matter, in about a month. His heart ached at the thought. 

He missed Paul desperately and he felt horrible. Horrible for leaving the band. Horrible for saying those things to Paul and watching the light in his eyes fade. Horrible for pretending Yoko's arms that engulfed him were Paul's. 

It used to work. He used to be able to trick himself into sleeping by pretending she was the man he was in love with. But now, even thinking about Paul touching only his arm he could feel his throat tighten in utter despair. 

He missed every aspect of the man. He missed the sound of his giggles ruining a take. He missed the way he looked into his eyes. He missed his scent. He missed how he could predict his next move. He missed their partnership. 

Only now that felt his lungs sharply take in oxygen in a shaky manner did he realize he was crying. He cursed himself internally and sat up in the bed. 

Yoko stirred. "John? John, are you crying?"

He only sniffled in response.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

He swallowed thickly.

"John if this is about Paul-"

"Fuck off Yoko." He left her alone in the bedroom.

He threw himself onto the couch and let violent sobs wrack his body. It was ironic to John knowing that the person he was crying over was also the only person who could help him stop.

He tried to think of what Paul would do if he was with him right now. He'd probably pull his shaking body into his lap. He'd run his fingers through his hair, he knew that always calmed John down. He'd kiss away the tears. He'd know not to ask John what was wrong. He'd know when he was ready to talk and when he just needed to be comforted. He knew more about John than anyone else ever had and probably ever will.

John had thought thinking of the comforting things Paul would do to him would calm him down but it didn't. His sobs weren't just uneven breathing and hiccuping and sniffling anymore. Now they had escalated and his vocal cords got involved. 

He sounded so pathetic. This was stupid. Paul probably didn't miss him as much as he missed Paul so he wasn't even worth crying over!

Now John felt hurt and angry at Paul. But that was ridiculous too since Paul didn't even say anything to him! His brain was making things up he was sure Paul missed him.

His crying had been reduced to silent shaking with tears streaming down his face and the occasional gasp. He curled into a ball on the couch. His head was pounding. He shut his eyes tight and tried to relax, tried to push the doe-eyed man out of his head.

He emitted a sound that was between a sob and a laugh. Then he quietly whimpered out, "I-" gasp "I lied to you P-P-Paul," sniffle "I love you. Of course, I love you. You're-" gasp "You're p-perfect."

He felt a bit more relaxed knowing he had finally admitted that, even if he was probably the only one who heard. He continued to cry quietly until eventually, he fell asleep.  
Suddenly, many miles away, Paul McCartney woke with a start. And burst into tears.

"I know," he whispered into the darkness. "I love you t-too J-J-J-John." 

**Author's Note:**

> Sigh, I really don't feel like this is my best work, but that's ok. I hope you enjoyed it! And I hope it didn't make anyone too sad <3


End file.
